I finally got around to cracking open “Shacking Up” by Helena Hunting. And I may say this book is good, heck mostly all the books I’ve read by her was good and hilarious. 📖🤷♀️💯💯
Bane to her Ruby 😍🤪😜
Yesssss this book was good.
I’m so team Bane and Ruby. Even though he has a hideous name, I still like him.
Like I started this book and finished it in like two days of starting it. This storyline and plot were good, but as I was reading, I was considering why Ruby didn’t double Major in her theater degree. Because sometimes with those degrees like Art or theater it’s so hard to get a job at all. It’s nothing like music, dance among other degrees that’s not like music, etc. that’s why I switch up my career path because I was considering going to college for art.
Also, I like how bane got into Ruby dad *** because he was a perk just as Armstrong is a perk I believe he smashes that girl Britney in the story that’s up next about Amalie. Which I cannot wait to read that story it’s about to get juicy, and I need to know who that guy is that she will end up with during her hunny moon.
Lastly, Bane mom seems very controlling hooking him up with a female he did not want. Makes me glad I don’t have wealthy parents because ones who aren’t rich have it bit easier than the rich perks who think they are above others (not all rich). Just the boogie ones and stuck up ones, I cannot stand as in this book, and real life including the broke stuck up and boogied folks in real life too lol!
Ruby Scott is months behind on rent and can’t seem to land a steady job. She has one chance to turn things around with a big audition. But instead of getting her big break, she gets sick as a dog and completely bombs it in the most humiliating fashion. All thanks to a mysterious, gorgeous guy who kissed—and then coughed on—her at a party the night before.
Luckily, her best friend might have found the perfect opportunity; a job staying at the lavish penthouse apartment of hotel magnate Bancroft Mills while he’s out of town, taking care of his exotic pets. But when the newly-evicted Ruby arrives to meet her new employer, it turns out Bane is the same guy who got her sick.
Seeing his role in Ruby’s dilemma, Bane offers her a permanent job as his live-in pet sitter until she can get back on her feet. Filled with hilariously awkward encounters and enough sexual tension to heat a New York City block, Shacking Up, from NYT and USA Today bestselling author Helena Hunting, is sure to keep you laughing and swooning all night long.
Read between December 17 – December 19, 2017
Our parents all preach about marrying for love—but really, it’s marrying for love of the bank account and maintaining status.
If the shoes are pointier than mine, the man is usually too high maintenance and by that I mean that his expectation of women is outside of anything that I’d ever be willing to comply with.
Plugs and pointy shoes are the worst of the worst. Those men are the ones most likely to insist on boob jobs and liposuction—whatever it takes to make their wives look as close to Barbie as possible.
Amie coughs and glances around to make sure the pickle-up-the-ass trust-fund boys missed my inappropriate vagina talk.
She seems like a real piece of work. It also explains a lot about Armstrong. I’m still trying to figure out his allure. He seems to walk around with an entire jar of pickles rammed up his ass at all times.
I’m just rather familiar with the way these men trade in wives like cars when the model gets a dent—or the Botox stops erasing the wrinkles. My own father is on wife number three.
“What does that have to do with my being homeless?” I’m already deciding which alley would be the best location to set up my box. I still have my gym membership. I think it’s valid for another few months. I can use the showers there. “Wait, he has a friend named Bane? Does he look like Tom Hardy?”
“You’re my best friend. If I trust you, he’ll trust you. Besides, he has a rabbit, or a guinea pig, or something like that. He inherited her I think. Maybe we could suggest you stay there while he’s gone.” “To take care of his guinea pig?” “Why not? He said she needs lots of care and play time.
My mother is gorgeous, but she refused to play by the same rules as so many of the other women in this environment seem to. She wouldn’t get the surgery, the facelifts, whatever tucks and nips to keep her looking like the twenty-three-year-old my father married. So he upgraded to a newer model, and test-drove a lot of them along the way.
His now lopsided grin is making my panties reevaluate their importance in my life.
His smirk is infuriating. I want to suck it right off his gorgeous face, with my lips, either set.
He coos at her and lets her snuggle into him. She’s so cute, and so is he, being all sweet with her. I think my ovaries are melting, or crying, or calling for his sperm.
Bancroft is stretched out on the couch watching sports with Francesca curled up in his lap. Right on top of his penis. What a whore. I wish I was her.
She takes the binder from me and opens it. “How many pages is this? More than a hundred?” “It’s ninety-eight. Francesca and Tiny have very specific needs.” “Ninety-eight pages of needs.” She leafs through it and mutters, “I wish someone was this in tune to my needs.” I bite my tongue and say nothing about how I’m sure I could attend to every single damn one of them if she’d like to go back to my bedroom and play “hide and seek” in my sheets with me.
If a guy is worth it, he can wait to experience the wonders inside my panties. That way I have a sufficient number of dates in which to engage in some make-out sessions.
I imagine his career as a rugby player might make him less pickle-up-the-ass than what Armstrong is used to.
“Not even a little. You’re my white knight in shining armor, saving me from living in a box on the corner, singing on the subway to earn a living.”
It’s as if he’s sharing his entire résumé with me. Dating in the upper class is weird. People parade themselves around like show ponies, waiting for someone to pin them with first prize.
What I do regret, maybe just a little, is not staking some kind of claim prior to leaving her in my condo.
If he’s as talented with his cock as he is with this part of his body, I may actually start a new religion. The Church of Bane Cock.
He can fuck me straight through the mattress if he wants and the frame will stay firmly intact. I’m not sure Amie’s bed is the same, although I was more concerned about having sex on the surface my best friend typically sleeps on.
“This is what I want. You. The way you’re looking at me right now. This feeling right here. Don’t take it away from me again.”
Every kiss is an echo of the first time. Accidental or not, some part of me recognized her as my future and now she’s mine to love.
Kindle Edition, 480 pages
Published May 30th, 2017 by Swerve